The Second Cake

This is the second cake I made. I created it, took some pics and then I cut it so there would be a few slices. I really like the layers in it and I've gotten great ideas/instructions from so many websites. I'm working on a 3rd cake...eventually I'll put the dots on a cake like my example cake but everything I try doesn't look right. Getting dots that small is a bit much for my totally not nimble fingers. ;)

 

But here's the second cake...before and after cutting it:

The First Cake Part 2

I was told that the first cake I made looked a lot like a hat. I'm posting more pics of the original look and then pics of the work in progress. I'm adding more flowers to it and maybe a vine...we'll see how it looks...for some reason my camera is sucking really badly and I might want to get my old one back from Nick (and give him another). :p I'm also adding pics of the roses in my backyard. I use those as inspiration for my roses.

I, Too, Have a Dream

I get emails often from this site but I wanted to post this since, apparently, this is Mental Illness Awareness Week. The lady who writes this blog also suffers from bipolar disorder and she's so open about things...the way that I'm becoming. I'm tired of having to hide it, being made to feel ashamed for it, people treating me like it's my fault. Those people need to ask themselves if they would treat a cancer patient with such disdain. Of course, they, like many out there (TOM CRUISE) think that mental illness is just weakness and laziness. The truth of that is that many people who have a mental illness are FAR STRONGER than the average person because simple everyday tasks like getting out of bed are an accomplishment on some days. We're not expecting to be rewarded for that or even having it acknowledged but we'd like people to understand this simple fact and not treat us badly if we're having a hard time. This is a great time of year for Mental Illness Awareness Week because it's also when SAD (seasonal affective disorder) kicks in for a lot of us, including me. So here is Therese J. Borchard's blog entitled "I, Too, Have a Dream":

In celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr.:

I have a dream that one day I won't hold my breath every time I tell a person that I suffer from bipolar disorder, that I won't feel shameful in confessing my mental illness.

I have a dream that people won't feel the need to applaud me for my courage on writing and speaking publicly about my disease, because the diagnosis of depression and bipolar disorder would be understood no differently than that of diabetes, arthritis, or dementia.

I have a dream that the research into genetics of mood disorders will continue to pinpoint specific genes that may predispose individuals and families to depression and bipolar disorder (like the gene G72/G30, located on chromosome 13q), just as specific genes associated with schizophrenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder have been located and identified.

I have a dream that brain-imaging technology will continue to advance in discovering what, exactly, is going on inside the brain, that a neurological perspective coupled with a biochemical approach to mental illness will develop targeted treatments: new medication and better response to particular medications--that we can cut out that painful trial-and-error process.

I have a dream depressives won't have to risk their jobs in divulging their condition, that employers will respond more empathetically to the country's 7.8 million working depressives, that the general public will be more educated on mental illness so that it doesn't cost this country more than $44 billion each year (like it does now).

I have a dream that families, friends, and co-workers will show kindness to depressives, not reproach them for not being stronger, for not having enough will power and discipline and incentive to get well, for not snapping out of it, for not being grateful enough, for not seeing the cup half full, for not controlling their emotions.

I have a dream that tabloids like "In Touch Weekly" won't lump allegations of Britney Spears' taking antidepressants into the same category as her 24-hour marriage, all-night clubbing, and pantyless photos--that our world might be more sophisticated and informed than that.

I have a dream that people will no longer use the following terms to describe persons with mental illness: fruity, loony, wacky, nutty, cuckoo, loopy, crazy, wacko, gonzo, nutso, batty, bonkers, ditzy, bananas, and crazy.

I have a dream that spiritual leaders might preach compassion to persons with mental illness, not indict them for not praying hard enough, or in the right way, or often enough, and that judgmental new-age thinkers who blame all illness on blocked energy (in chakras one through seven) might be enlightened to understand that fish oil, mindfulness meditation, and acupuncture can't cure everything.

I have a dream that health insurance companies will stop serving Satan, and read a medical report every now and then, where they would learn that depression is a legitimate, organic brain disease, and that those who suffer from it aren't a bunch of weak, pathetic people who can't cope with life's hard knocks.

I dream that one day depression won't destroy so many marriages and families, that better and faster treatment will work in favor of every form of intimacy.

I have a dream that suicide won't take more lives than traffic accidents, lung disease, or AIDS, that together we can do better to reduce the 30,000 suicides that happen annually in the United States, and that communities will lovingly embrace those friends and families of persons who ran out of hope, instead of simply ignoring the tragedy or attaching fault where none should be.

I have a dream that one day depression, bipolar disorder, and all kinds of mental illness will lose their stigma, that I won't have to whisper the word "Zoloft" to the pharmacist at Rite Aid, that people will be able to have loud conversations in coffee shops about how they treat their depression (in addition to the excellent dialogue we have here on "Beyond Blue").

Mostly, I dream about a day when I can wake up and think about coffee first thing in the morning, rather than my mood--is it a serene one, a panicked one, or somewhere in between?--and fretting about whether or not I'm heading toward the black hole of despair. I dream that I'll never ever have to go back to that harrowing and lonely place of a year ago. That no one else should have to either. But if they do (or if I do), that they not give up hope. Because eventually their tomorrow will be better than their today. And they will be able to dream again too.

My life according to Google…

Type in the following and choose the first choice (that makes sense)that appears on the list:

1 *Type in “[your name] needs” in Google search:

“Carolyn needs a spanking.” (Yes, REALLY!)

2. *Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search:

“Carolyn looks like Satan’s best Stormtrooper.”

3. *Type in “[your name] likes” in Google search:

“Carolyn likes to spin. Yes, that rhymes.” (I swear I’m not making these up!)

4. *Type in “[your name] says” in Google search:

“Carolyn says that it was an intense time of both learning and discovery... If something could hit Jupiter, then something could hit Earth.”

5. *Type in “[your name] wants” in Google search:

“Carolyn wants to drink 4 pints of water she drank 3 cups in the morning and 2 cups in the afternoon how many more cups does Carolyn need to drink?” (Definitely NOT me since I hate drinking plain water.)

6. *Type in “[your name] does” in Google search:

“Carolyn does rock!” (Google is so smart!)

7. *Type in “[your name] hates” Google search

“Carolyn hates having her picture taken.” (Damn straight!)

8. *Type in “[your name] goes”

“That afternoon, Carolyn goes out into the garden to pick some roses...” (Article about the movie _American Beauty_.)

9. *Type in “[your name] loves” in Google search:

“you know carolyn loves you ;]”

10. *Type in“[your name] is” in Google search:

“Carolyn is a seasoned, well-traveled artist, writer and photographer..." (Yay! Hopefully someday...)

Favourite Songs List

I have an obsession with creating lists. I'm insane and I admit it...it's a genetic defect that my entire family shares but I'm probably the worst. In the Prey Series by John Sandford, the protagonist, Lucas Davenport, created a list of his top 100 favourite songs. I liked that idea and the challenge of limiting it to 100. I have 4 songs though, that are at the bottom and aren't technically on the favourite list...well...it's weird but they're honourable mention favourites because they make me cry and they're just so beautiful, especially "Proud to be an American" by Lee Greenwood.
So here's my list...and given my penchant for changing my mind, it could be updated tomorrow. I'm trying to get my other friends to send me their lists because I find it so fascinating...it's the best way to learn more about your friends and family members (and complete strangers). So check it out, make fun of me because Britney and Hanson are on there...whatever...I love it. ;)

Sweep the Leg!

This music video isn't so great based on the song because the song is only so-so but the casting is awesome! The song is called "Sweep the Leg" by No More Kings. Most of you should get the reference to "Sweep the leg" but maybe you won't...maybe it'll take until halfway through the video for you to get it but I doubt it. =)
FYI, I had the biggest thing for William Zabka (and kinda still do) even though he always had to be the bad guy in everything.
And just a wee bit of trivia, that pizza manager guy at the beginning...if he looks familiar, it's because that's Dennis Haskins, aka Mr. Belding, from _Saved by the Bell_.
So without further ado, the link is www.sweeptheleg.com.
(Oh yes, you need to watch all the way to the end and those are all the original guys and William Zabka is also the guy on the skates...which kinda scares me...)

Apricot Mood Kid Shoes

I finally was able to buy my Marc Jacobs Apricot Mood kids shoes. (Previous blog: http://poogies-shtab.blogspot.com/2008/08/sigh-im-in-love.html)
I've been checking eBay often after losing an auction for a pair of shoes for my good friend/coworker Ann. It was a totally stupid reason (I put in my big about 40 seconds before the auction closed and I received a stupid message saying that seller required that my eBay account and Paypal account are linked...which I thought they were). The shoes sold for $27 and Ann was willing to pay $40.
So I keep checking every day or so to see if they've posted those same shoes again...and still nothing. But one day, the Wednesday before our last payday, I was on there and those Apricot Marc Jacobs shoes were for sale. In my size, on a Buy it Now. I knew that was a sign that I needed those shoes. I've been waiting since January or so and there was no way I was going to pay $294ish. I got them for MUCH cheaper and they're just so damn cute. I get compliments from random women on all 3 pairs of my Marc Jacobs.
I had bought 2 pairs of Steve Madden shoes and those things HURT. I gave both pairs away within the past two days because they hurt so badly. This wasn't the "I need to break these shoes in" kind of pain, it was the "I'm never going to be able to wear them because there's something about the way they fit" kind of pain.
I'm trying to purge the shoes I don't wear. Some that I'm keeping, like my Victoria's Secret shoes, are not that comfortable (in fact, I think the only 2 pairs of really uncomfortable shoes are the Victoria's Secret ones and my really high leather-like boots)...but I think Victoria's Secret shoes are just meant to be worn for a short amount of time... ;)
Eventually I'll post pics of all the shoes. I think I've gotten a good number of them posted. My coworkers and friends are making fun of my new found Marc Jacobs obsession. These shoes are pretty comfortable for as tall as they are (just like other heels basically and I'm comparing them to flats) and they look GOOD. How often do random women come up to another woman and compliment her? I do it when I see a woman wearing something beautiful. I realize that I like it and it makes me feel good and I hope the other women feel as good when I tell them that they've got something on that's really beautiful. =)